Perfectionism 101
Perfectionism is a personality trait that refers to an individual's tendency to set excessively high standards for themselves and engage in a relentless pursuit of flawlessness. Perfectionists often experience significant distress when they perceive that they have fallen short of these standards, leading to a range of negative consequences. While striving for excellence can be a positive and motivating force, perfectionism can be an obstacle to personal growth and can contribute to mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. In this blog post, we will explore the different types of perfectionism, the causes and consequences of perfectionism, and effective strategies for overcoming perfectionism.
Types of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is not a one-size-fits-all concept. Researchers have identified three main types of perfectionism: self-oriented, socially prescribed, and other-oriented perfectionism.
Self-oriented perfectionism refers to the tendency to set high personal standards and strive for perfectionism in one's own performance. This type of perfectionism is often motivated by a desire to excel and achieve one's personal goals. While self-oriented perfectionism can be a positive motivator, it can also lead to an unhealthy preoccupation with personal achievement and a fear of failure.
Socially prescribed perfectionism refers to the belief that others expect perfection from oneself. Individuals who experience socially prescribed perfectionism feel intense pressure to meet the standards set by others, such as parents, peers, or society as a whole. This type of perfectionism is associated with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
Other-oriented perfectionism refers to the tendency to set high standards for others and to expect them to meet those standards. This type of perfectionism can lead to interpersonal problems, as others may feel that they are never good enough.
Causes and Consequences of Perfectionism
Perfectionism can have both internal and external causes. Internally, perfectionism can be driven by feelings of insecurity, a need for control, or a desire to avoid criticism or rejection. Externally, perfectionism can be fueled by societal pressure to achieve, cultural expectations of success, or family values that prioritize achievement over other aspects of life.
The consequences of perfectionism can be significant. Perfectionists often experience intense feelings of anxiety and self-doubt, and may engage in excessive rumination and self-criticism. They may avoid taking risks or trying new things out of fear of failure, which can lead to missed opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment. Perfectionism has been linked to a range of mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and substance abuse.
Overcoming Perfectionism
Overcoming perfectionism is not an easy task, but it is possible. Here are some effective strategies for managing perfectionism:
Challenge your perfectionistic thoughts. Perfectionists often have a lot of negative self-talk that reinforces their unrealistic standards. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself questions like, "Is this standard really necessary?" or "What is the worst that could happen if I don't achieve this?"
Set realistic goals. Perfectionists often set goals that are unattainable, which sets them up for failure. Instead, set goals that are challenging but achievable.
Practice self-compassion. Perfectionists often hold themselves to a higher standard than they would hold others, leading to harsh self-judgment. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend.
Focus on the process, not just the outcome. Perfectionists often focus solely on the end result, rather than enjoying the process of working towards a goal. Shift your focus to the process of growth and learning, and enjoy the journey, not just the destination.
Embrace imperfection! Exposure-based strategies can be helpful in learning to tolerate imperfection in small doses.
A licensed psychologist can help you work on the above strategies to overcome toxic perfectionism through therapy. Reach out today to start making your perfectionism work FOR you, rather than against you!